I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
