i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
