i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
