I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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