shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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