So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I got chris browned last night
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Randomize
