I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
