It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
