i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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