WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
