Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
