best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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