Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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