Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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