Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
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