; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
It was confusing and full of hummus
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
