What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
