I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
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