they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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