I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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