question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
