I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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