I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
