I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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