My first STD was from a foam party
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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