Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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