last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize