so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
