My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
