He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
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