There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize