A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
