just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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