Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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