it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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