I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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