Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Randomize
