gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
