yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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