Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
