She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Randomize
