If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize