I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
