found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
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