I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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