One girl and one boy is just not enough.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
