Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
