dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Randomize
