Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Randomize
