i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
