The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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