barbara walters just said penis...
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
