i just wanna soil my oats bro
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Cover your peen. We're going out.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
