So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Randomize
