Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize